


twenty years

by bruised_fruit



Series: davluce drabbles [8]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Age Difference, Double Drabble, Drabble Collection, Early canon, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Onesided, Post-Canon, Referenced Death, Stolen Century, decade era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-12 04:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20558387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruised_fruit/pseuds/bruised_fruit
Summary: Twenty years,thought Lucretia. It shouldn’t seem like such a large number.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have a handful of drabbles centered around the "twenty years" theme, so this will probably become a collection/sequence as i edit and post them, and the tags will be adjusted :^)

_ Twenty years, _ thought Lucretia. It shouldn’t seem like such a large number. She stole a glance at her new captain, standing tall and ready to begin the press conference. He didn’t seem old, but 42—exactly twenty years older than her—seemed so far away. 

He tapped the mic, and she reminded herself this was a risky path to let herself think down. He was her boss, and even without professional barriers, he couldn’t want her. Yet already, she could think up so many justifications. She never cared much for social conventions (though Captain Davenport might). Just, twenty felt like nothing when he smiled at her, restrained but warm. Twenty didn’t matter when Lucretia let herself imagine the two of them holding hands, or exchanging a kiss. Twenty paled in comparison to the infinite, to the unknown beyond their planar system. The captain folded his hands behind his back, and Lucretia watched, feeling transparent.

Twenty was a lot, she knew that, but she increasingly found it harder to care. The captain unveiled his ship, and she dug her nails into her palm, willing herself to focus on it, willing herself to ignore that she’d much rather focus on him instead. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Twenty years,” Davenport said from Lucretia’s bed. “There are twenty years between us. Do you ever think about that? I’m going to hell.”

She gave him a long look, not even shifting in her seat at the desk. “I’m fifty this cycle,” she said, “you’ve hardly been taking advantage of me.”

“It just seems like such a big difference.” He settled back in her bed, and she watched, a little smile on her face, before she stood, casually unbuttoning her top. He caught her eye. “Really?”

“It’s the taboo,” she said with mock-solemnity. “You got me all riled up.” She joined him on the bed, her blouse hanging open. “Now touch my boobies.”

Davenport snorted, and Lucretia grinned, leaning over him. “We should talk about this sometime,” he said, his hands running up her sides. “It’ll matter if we ever settle down someplace.”

Something crossed her face, and he regretted his words. They rarely talked about the idea that their journey might end one day. He couldn’t stand to be overly hopeful, and she always skirted talk of the future, maybe on his behalf. But then the expression faded. “It won’t matter to me,” she said. And she kissed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i feel like initially, dav was more preoccupied with the thought that he's in a position of power as her captain, plus ipre rules against relationships with coworkers, plus feelings of inadequacy etc... but still, this topic probably would've come up earlier. humor me!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for light ableism in this one

“Twenty years,” she said heavily. Twenty years lost. Twenty years closer to death. The scars, she could handle. The loss of dexterity, the nightmares, all of it was bearable. But knowing she had that much less time unsettled her deeply. 

Davenport looked up at her, eyes blank. He almost looked like his old self, but not enough. Some uncanny likeness to her captain, her lover, her friend. She hated it. 

“Davenport?” he asked. Lucretia sagged in her chair. A few days out of Wonderland, and the sound of his voice still hurt so much. Somehow she’d let herself imagine that her Davenport would be waiting for her, miraculously himself again.

He stood by her chair, just staring. Could he tell she’d aged? She didn’t know what his “Davenport” meant. It could be as meaningless as a dog’s bark, or maybe it was a stand-in for a word his mouth couldn’t form.

“I’m older now,” she told him, and he chirped his name again.

Lucretia grimaced. “It’ll matter to you one day,” she said. “Now let’s get you ready for bed.” She heaved herself up, and Davenport put his hand on her leg. It took everything not to push him away.


	4. Chapter 4

_ Twenty years, _ he thought, stealing a glance at his wife as he turned the heat off of the stir fry. 

“We’re the same age now, bodily.”

“Yes,” she said, putting a scoop of rice on his plate, then one on hers. 

Davenport regarded her for a moment, giving the food one final stir. “That’s kind of fucked up, isn’t it?” Lucretia snorted, and he spooned stir fry onto their plates, contemplative. “Not just that we’re aging… Sometimes it’s hard for me to wrap my head around how much you sacrificed during that decade.”

“You sacrificed a lot, too,” she said, small.

“I suppose.” Davenport set their plates down. She sat at her spot and looked up at him, her elbow on the table, a wrinkled hand at her chin. The relics took her friends, her lover. He felt guilty, not for the first time. 

Not that he didn’t lose things, too. And it aches knowing that neither of them will ever truly heal from any of it: losing their home; facing the Hunger, year after year; and her choice. All of her choices. 

“It’s kind of funny,” he said, picking up his fork. “You’ve always been so good at chess.”


End file.
